Monday, December 12, 2005
it's awful...
Maybe I didn't blog about it. It hurts to hear someone ever so close to you tell you a small lie. Maybe its an excuse instead. Its not her first time, and I doubt it would be her last.
For the first few times I tolerated. I tried to make it craps whenever I hear excuses. But whenever I think of it, it nearly kills me seriously. Emotionally at least. I want to believe. But her actions are apparantly not what she said. I don't get it.
Perhaps she don't treat me like how I treat her, perhaps she uses my money more than I use hers, perhaps she smokes all of my cigs all the time, so many perhaps I can say, but all I wanna know its why did she give me lies and excuses? Because she was my closest, therefore the concern.
I can listen to shits for the first, second time, or maybe once in a million years. But for 3 years I've been getting all the garbage
on a daily basis. Last week I finally cried. Yes, I was happy. Not because I've been deceived, but because I can let that burden out. I've never cried over friends before, it really pains me.
Its not that I've never exposed her lies or talk to her about this before. Now I agree with 'a leopard never changes its spots'. No doubt she's like shit at times, but I still treat her like how I treated her all the while. I had enough of her chantings and everything, but I don't wanna lose this friendship, or maybe few say sistership.
But people I'm fine. Don't worry.
to Hanis. its not that i'm problematic. its just that i only blog about these shits and not my happiness u stupid! wahahaha.
audrieeee@hotmail.com
